Man's Been Catfished

Mans been Catfished!

(Alright, maybe I've spent too long with Diren.)

Woke up this morning to a couple people telling me they've seen me on Plenty Of Fish in Glasgow!

Screenshotted the profile and sent it to me.

For any of you who don't know POF is like Tinder but lower grade and people are 74% more likely to bang (doe) on the first date.

I hear 2017 marked the first trend of people on Tinder NOT putting out on the first date.

Towards the end of 2017 the platform went into decline because people started using it to find meaningful relationships.

(Makes me sick)

POF members have typically more regrettable tattoos and are 45% more likely to give you a STI.

So. I've. Heard.

The dudes name on POF is Kevmc1101

"Just back from Oz.. no roasters!"

Not even sure what that means.

But he's only gone and nabbed my skydive picture and me having a selfie with a kangaroo.

Age 27, I wish - I'm 28 (and 1/2 mate.)

"wants to date but nothing serious."

Bonjour, not far off.

Profession: 'employee of the month'... good chat good chat.

Now this fuckwits put me at 5'10.

I'm 6ft you cheeky fucking twat.

(World's shortest rugby player to have an appearance at second row in Nat 2.)


Despite the Lol's I got from this whole ordeal this morning.

I couldn't help but think.

What are you playing at mate?

Like, if he want to pretend to be me. What does he accomplish?

I see PT's doing it on social and I'm like yeah fair play they want a piece of the pie.


You mad?

Ok so let's face it, he may be able to source some good nudes with the kangaroo selfie, works every time.

However POF members are 3.2x more likely to send nudes on request than Tinder or Bumble.
(Smith et al 2017.)

But, not being funny mate.

If you want a picture of a vagina google images has got your back.

Also Porn has been free since like 2004.

So you're going a pretty long way about getting some nudes, ya know?

Secondly, ok, is this guy actually going to meet this chick.

Because if he's not my identical twin that I was separated at birth.

She's probably going to clock on a bit.

I don't think using someone else's picture on a dating site is the best way to build trust.

Hi I'm Kev.

Well you don't look like your pictures. At all.

EVEN ON POF, your chances of getting laid after that stunt are slim.

Last point.

If you're going to steal someone's photos, probably don't steal them off the dude who's been all over your mates facebook feeds using the f word and telling a bird called Brian to shut up.

​All in all.

Kev, using my photos for your POF, funny as.

You desperate turd.

However the way you're going about getting a picture of someone's vag and getting your end away are truly awful.

If you want some dating advice, DM me and I'll give you a few pointers. No Dramas.

So to wrap up.

The only thing more fucking stupid than using someone else's pictures on a dating site.

Is NOT to join my fucking Academy.


James :)